Hail to the Canis elephantus americanus

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On the roster: Hail to the Canis elephantus americanus – Schumer says deal at hand on another bailout – Fox News Poll: Biden’s support slumps – Republicans spend big to capitalize on coronavirus – *ahem* They’re really cleaning up

HAIL TO THE CANIS ELEPHANTUS AMERICANUS
Have you ever heard about Susie the Wonder Dog? She was a black and white mostly beagle who ran toward Rubenesque in her proportions but maintained a vertical leap like Randy Moss when it was time to hop on the foot of your bed at night.

She was good company for fruitless cane-pole fishing expeditions, even though she ended up getting most of the fried chicken skin and proved to be the best mole hunter west of the Alleghenies once her master’s father offered a $5 bounty for yard-defiling varmints.

But Susie’s greatest skill was as an elephant dog. Not once in all of her 18 years did an elephant – neither African nor Asian, neither bull nor cow – ever get near her family home. Any human visitor was likely to hear the boast.

This is America’s fifth Friday since the start of the most dramatic, sustained and comprehensive change to our way of living since… when? The energy shortages of 1979-1980? The start of the Soviet nuclear arms race? Little in the modern, post-World War II era will answer.

Having all but defeated most of the infectious diseases that had plagued mankind for millennia, we were not ready for this. The necessary skills and attitudes in our shared cultural memory had disappeared or grown so faint that we struggled to recall them.

We were like Susie would have been if a six-and-a-half ton pachyderm really had come trumpeting up Stackyard Hollow. There was a lot of barking, a great deal of urgent movement and some unintentional urination.

But the elephant seems to be retreating, or at least stopping its charge. Not bad for a 35-pound spotted dog.

We’ve made many mistakes in these four weeks since the panic first descended. Some have been errors of excess. Some of been errors of negligence. We have seen plenty of mankind’s ever-present companions, hubris and fear.

But again, it’s been a long time since every American knew all about tuberculosis sanitariums and polio closures of swimming pools. We’ve been thinking about cyber-attacks, terrorism, drug addiction and the other real and perceived threats of our time. It’s not surprising that responding to a plague would require a steep learning curve and would result in errors.

Indeed, Americans have a great deal to be proud of.

We have shown so much generosity, fellow feeling and self-discipline as citizens that it has made it possible for institutional leaders, in and out of government, to get their bearings and implement their responses. As has always been the case with us, it is our capacity to govern ourselves that makes our system work.

Our governments are not saving us so much as we are shoring up our governments.

The fight is not through. And when it is, the struggles so many of us will face in making our livings and providing for our families will be titanic. The decisions we are making now and in the coming months about how to respond will have deep consequences for individuals and for generations to come.

Hard roads lay ahead. And they will be made harder by those same selfish traits that complicated our response. There will be those who say there never was an elephant at all. There will be others who say it was 100 stories tall and they slayed it with their bare hands.

Leave them to it, but never forget the truth that has been glorious evidence of Americans’ capacity to rise to the moment – to lay aside the divisions and resentments we so carefully nurture in order to complete the task at hand. This is not a victory for our leaders, this is a victory for our citizenry.

It is fitting that we mark the end of our first month of this strange and scary time on the Christian holiday of Good Friday and during the Jewish observance of Passover.

While those holidays are about fearsome things and remembering the suffering of those who came before us, they are fundamentally about hope. We remember the bad things and the hardships of the past not to be afraid, but to remind ourselves to be brave now because there is always the hope of things to come.

There is no darkness so deep that hope cannot reach you.

We wish all of our subscribers a blessed, safe and joyful weekend. If you’re celebrating a holiday, we say “Christ is risen!” or “Chag Sameach!” as appropriate.

But we think every American has something to celebrate just now. There’s nothing more American than optimism.

THE RULEBOOK: JUST YOU WAIT…
“The regulation of commerce, it is true, is a new power; but that seems to be an addition which few oppose, and from which no apprehensions are entertained.” – James Madison, Federalist No. 45

TIME OUT: A STARR IS BORN
West Virginia Encyclopedia: “On April 10, 1932, striptease artist Blaze Starr was born in Wayne County, W.Va., as Fanny Belle Fleming. At age 14, she left home for Logan, where she worked at a drive-in. After catching a bus to Washington, her life soon changed in unexpected ways. A date took her to a burlesque club in Baltimore. She bragged to the owner that she could do a better job than his current dancers. Renamed Blaze Starr, she became the star attraction at Sol Goodman’s Two O’ Clock Club. In 1959, she was performing at a New Orleans club when she met Louisiana Governor Earl Long, brother of the legendary Huey Long. Starr and Earl Long began an affair, mortifying the governor’s supporters while giving fodder to his opponents. After Long died of a heart attack, Starr moved back to Baltimore, bought the Two O’ Clock Club, and adapted her act to become more of a comedienne. In 1974, she wrote her autobiography [which] was turned into the movie Blaze, starring Paul Newman as Earl Long and Lolita Davidovich as Starr.”

Flag on the play? – Email us at [email protected] with your tips, comments or questions.

SCOREBOARD 
TRUMP JOB PERFORMANCE 
Average approval: 46 percent
Average disapproval: 49 percent
Net Score: -3 percent
Change from one week ago: ↓ 3.6 points
[Average includes: Fox News: 49% approve – 49% disapprove; Monmouth University: 46% approve – 49% disapprove; Quinnipiac University: 45% approve – 51% disapprove; CNBC: 46% approve – 43% disapprove; CNN: 44% approve – 53% disapprove.]

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SCHUMER SAYS DEAL AT HAND ON ANOTHER BAILOUT
Roll Call: “Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer said [today] that Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has agreed to bipartisan talks on a new coronavirus economic aid package, which the New York Democrat said could lead to a deal by early next week. A stalemate emerged Thursday over next steps for Congress to provide financial relief for the COVID-19 pandemic. Senate Republicans attempted to add $251 billion to a dwindling fund for small-business loans, as Democrats pushed for a broader relief effort. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell sought unanimous consent for legislation to replenish the loan fund, but Small Business and Entrepreneurship Committee ranking member Benjamin L. Cardin objected. There is disagreement over how quickly more money is needed for small-business loans and …funding for hospitals and state and local governments, among other things. But the Friday morning phone call between Schumer and Mnuchin signaled that the White House and Democrats in Congress are willing to come to the table.”

Conservatives grow more uneasy – WashEx: “A top House Republican opposes swift action on another coronavirus rescue package, preferring to assess the impact of the $2.2 trillion in pandemic relief Congress just approved before rushing to appropriate even more money. Rep. Patrick McHenry is the top Republican on the House Financial Services Committee, a key congressional panel involved in monitoring the implementation of the legislation, particularly $350 billion in emergency federal loans to cash-strapped small businesses. In an interview with the Washington Examiner, McHenry said the government should study the results of the stimulus it has already injected into the economy and figure out what the public needs next before rushing to pass yet another trillion-dollar bill.”

Pelosi cautions Trump on premature corona moves – Politico: “Speaker Nancy Pelosi signaled Thursday that the House is unlikely to return to session later this month, her clearest indication yet that Congress — like the rest of the country — could remain shuttered for weeks or even longer as the coronavirus crisis continues. In a half-hour interview, Pelosi issued a stark warning to President Donald Trump, urging him not to prematurely rush to reopen major segments of the country before the coronavirus is under control, which she said could further send the U.S. economy into a tailspin.”

FOX NEWS POLL: BIDEN’S SUPPORT SLUMPS
Fox News: “The presidential race has tightened. Joe Biden’s recent 9-point edge over Donald Trump has evaporated. According to a new Fox News Poll of registered voters, the incumbent president and presumed Democratic nominee now tie with 42 percent support apiece. Some 16 percent would vote for a third-party candidate or are undecided.  Trump’s 42 percent support is, by a narrow margin, his highest ever against Biden, while Biden’s mark is his lowest by far. Two weeks ago, Biden was up by 49-40 percent (March 21-24).  Some of the most significant declines in his support come from women (-9 points) and non-whites (-11).  Yet, the most troublesome shift is among Democrats, as just 80 percent back him, down from 87 percent in March.”

Enter Obama – Politico: “In the end, the most influential politician of 2020 might be the one who has been the most silent. With Bernie Sanders exiting the race and Joe Biden taking on the mantle of presumptive nominee, the man who hovered quietly over the race for more than a year, Barack Obama, will soon return to the political fray. … Obama mostly stuck to his pledge not to interfere in the race, but in 2019 there was one enormously important exception. In mid-November at a Democratic donor event he weighed in forcefully on the left vs. centrist argument that was then dominating the race. … Obama was publicly silent for the remainder of the campaign. But one of his closest advisers issued a warning: ‘If Bernie were running away with it, I think maybe we would all have to say something.’”

Whitmer’s backers push Michigander for veep – Politico: “Since Michigan’s first cases were identified on March 11, [Gov. Gretchen Whitmer], having already declared a state of emergency, shut down schools and businesses, banned large gatherings, broadened unemployment benefits and ordered citizens to shelter-in-place. It wasn’t enough. With Michigan’s death toll soaring, and the state running low on resources, Whitmer began pleading with Washington for help while publicly criticizing the lack of a national Covid-19 strategy. Predictably, this provoked ad hominem retribution from President Trump. He called her ‘Gretchen ‘Half’ Whitmer.’ … Meanwhile, with Whitmer’s handling of the outbreak garnering praise, she has gained altitude as a trendy choice to become Joe Biden’s running mate—a reality not lost on Trump, who has continued to single her out for attack. All of this has further complicated Whitmer’s nightmarish circumstance, injecting fragile egotism and election-year politics into a public health disaster that’s grown bleaker by the day.”

Bloomberg’s $18 million transfer to DNC ignites complaints – WaPo: “A conservative group has filed a petition asking federal regulators to prevent self-funded candidates from emulating former New York mayor Mike Bloomberg, who they say used a loophole to make a historically large $18 million contribution to the Democratic National Committee. Citizens United, the group widely known for its 2010 namesake landmark Supreme Court case that helped pave the way for super PACs, on Wednesday filed a petition with the Federal Election Commission asking federal regulators to create new rules to limit the amount of leftover money that a self-funded federal candidate can transfer to the national party once the candidate has dropped out of the race. The request followed two FEC complaints filed by other groups that alleged Bloomberg made an improper transfer.”

REPUBLICANS SPEND BIG TO CAPITALIZE ON CORONAVIRUS
Politico: “The Republican National Committee is launching a seven-figure advertising campaign lavishing praise on President Donald Trump for his handling of the coronavirus outbreak, as the president confronts a sustained assault from liberal groups over his response to the crisis. The $1 million-plus digital blitz, which will run across more than a dozen battleground states, is unusual: The committee rarely spends so heavily on advertising so early in an election year. But over the last several weeks, an array of liberal groups has spent millions of dollars on commercials battering Trump. On Thursday, Pacronym, a liberal super PAC, began running a web video hammering the president for initially downplaying the virus.”

Trump Super PAC buys access to campaign email list – Daily Beast: “By law, President Donald Trump’s campaign is not allowed to coordinate with a super PAC supporting it. But in recent months, one such ostensibly independent group has purchased access to one of the campaign’s most valuable possessions: the massive email list that it has built over the last five years. The Trump campaign is renting out that list, and financial records indicate its top political customer is America First Action, the campaign’s ‘official’ super PAC. The Trump campaign says it’s charging fair-market value for the list, which means the arrangement is likely above-board as far as federal election laws go. But it’s nonetheless a striking bit of convergence between Trump’s official re-election effort and a group that is supposed to operate independently of the campaign, and one that’s masked beneath layers of obscure financial transactions.”

Sununu bows on absentee voting – WaPo: “New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu (R) announced Thursday that the state will allow voters to cast mail-in ballots in the November general election if the coronavirus is still a factor this fall. The decision is a significant departure from Sununu’s past stance against widespread absentee voting and stands in contrast to the rhetoric coming from some Republicans, including President Trump. ‘Basically if you feel more comfortable voting absentee because of the outbreak or your inability or nervousness about just appearing in person to vote, you can vote absentee and obtain an absentee ballot,’ Sununu said at a news conference. Sununu said the state is considering other voting alternatives, too, including ‘drive-up voting,’ in which a voter would not have to leave his or her vehicle.”

AUDIBLE: AMEN, BROTHER ATLEE
“We consider this a privilege that we can come in here and do something for somebody else who’s in need and do it right at home here, and do it safely.” – Atlee Raber, the founder of an Amish furniture company Holmes County, Ohio talking to the NYT about how the Amish, who do not accept government aid, are staying afloat during the crisis by shifting to making masks and safety equipment.

ANY GIVEN SUNDAY
Tune in this weekend as Mr. Sunday sits down with Mark Cuban and Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser. Watch “Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace.” Check local listings for broadcast times in your area.

#mediabuzz – Host Howard Kurtz has the latest take on the week’s media coverage. Watch #mediabuzz Sundays at 11 a.m. ET.

FROM THE BLEACHERS
“I always come away from reading your daily missive refreshed and pensive. As an aging baby-boomer (c. 1947), I really appreciated your opening review of the Sanders exit and its significance. Thank God for this country and its founding, for there is still hope for my granddaughters’ generation! Even more so was I touched by Charles’ words. I started coaching Little league baseball when my oldest was in T-ball. I continued in that small-town Rhode Island league until I resigned as player agent, a few years after both sons finished playing. It was a wonderful run, and its memories all came back as I read Charles three sentences. Love to all of you, and prayers for you and your families’ well-being in this strange and stressful time.” – Guy Goodwin, Lecanto, Fla.

[Ed. note: God bless you and the ones you hold in your heart, Mr. Goodwin. Thank you.]

“Okay, sir, your time has arrived. The following line from today’s column — all by itself — is enough to earn you a Pulitzer: ‘The truth about 2016 was that Hillary Clinton is the dark matter of American politics. The density of the dislike among voters for her and her dynastic ambitions is so intense that it crushes even light itself.’ Someday there will be a sub-category at the bottom of a similar newsletter. It will read, ‘And now, a word from Chris…’” – David Murphy, Jacksonville, Fla.

[Ed. note: I think I’ll crib Groucho Marx on this one and say that I’d never subscribe to a newsletter that would have me for a kicker! Thanks very much for reading and taking the time to write.]

Share your color commentary: Email us at [email protected] and please make sure to include your name and hometown.

*AHEM* THEY’RE REALLY CLEANING UP
UPI: “A bakery in Finland said it was spared going out of business thanks to a unique creation that went viral on social media: cakes shaped like toilet paper rolls. The Ronttosrouva bakery in Finland said the business was in danger of shutting down permanently in March when nearly all of its orders were canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic. Bakery owner Sanna Lampinen said business turned around when photos of her toilet paper roll cakes went viral on social media, leading to hundreds of new orders. Lampinen said the increased business has allowed her to not only keep all of her employees on the payroll, but she has been able to hire two more people to help meet the demand.”

AND NOW, A WORD FROM CHARLES…
“Scoff if you will, but I stayed home Tuesday to watch a chess game.” – Charles Krauthammer (1950-2018) writing in the Washington Post on Nov. 21, 2003.

Chris Stirewalt is the politics editor for Fox News. Brianna McClelland contributed to this report. Want FOX News Halftime Report in your inbox every day? Sign up here.

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